Selective Memory and Selective Everything

It puzzles me, it really does. What am I doing wrong? I seem to give so much, care so much... it's not enough. People still just forget who I am, toss me around, throw me away. They get tired. I hate it. Maybe I need to take a second and be a jackass to everyone. Maybe it'll reassure them that I'm human so it's ok to care about me again, to recognize me as a human being... because I'm flawed and cruel just like they are. 

Another thing, people seem to block you out of their lives because they want to lie to themselves because their own betrayals and carelessness has transformed you into a symbol. Some symbol they no longer want to recognize because it hurts them and it hinders them from realizing that they're "happy". Fallacies and ungratefulness, that's all people seem to be capable of. Nothing is sacred.

My friend, I call her my best friend... and she can't even make time for me. She can't even send me a text; we both know this should not be any sort of inconvenience to her because it's all she does. 

There was this stranger, I thought I loved him... he really was just a mirage, false comfort, to reassure myself that I'm capable of being soft.

There are my parents, sometimes I think they take me for granted.

There is everyone else... they don't appreciate me and take me for granted.

There was this old friend, I met up with her a couple of nights ago; she's still the same. I love her, despite the fact that the tone of her voice has changed; she's become less convincing in tone... she may even be faking, but she's the epitome of what a friend is.

There are these admirers, I worry that I'm not what they expect; they should move on, not bother at all.