Just came home from my dentist appointment. They took x-rays after x-rays of my fugly teeth today... it seemed endless. Anyway though, as I sat there, feeling as if I was unaffected by everything. Frankly, everything is affecting me all at once at the moment. I am overwhelmed by this ongoing battle between overwhelming happiness and abyssmal depression. Which is it? Am I whole or am I broken? Well, actually overwhelming happiness and abyssmal depression are both "wholes", it's subjective. Almost two years in college and all I've learned, all I've kept coming back to is this line between surrealism and "sub-realism". No, I really don't mean realism. I only have my former Vis 84 professor to thank for what I know about life now. Well, not "know" but "grasp"; you can never really know anything. Knowing that you'll never really know anything makes life's transitions less painful. Which actually reminds me of a random thought I had the other day...
There I was, 3 in the morning, procrastinating, not studying for a final that's about to take place in 5 hours... and all I can think of are the words "lost in translation", which lead me to ponder about the movie about how it related to life. Life is nothing but a myriad of transitions, edited together by people's so-called "free will"/ choice and then held together by the lifetime you live, from the time you are born to the time you cease to exist. Now the whole concept of "lost in translation" is the realization of a previous scene to the next; if something is edited, then it is not at all continuous... this is how all things become lost in translation, and I think this is how people begin to change... great friends one day, bitter enemies the next and so forth.
Lastly, I realized that the only man I can really fall in love with, ever, is Chris Carrabba.
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