Frustration.

Most things in life are incontrollable... the only thing you have control over is to lose control.

I have 2 midterms today. Basically, I'm fucked.

I've spiraled out of control as of late... I've let outside forces affect me so greatly. I allowed grief to blindfold me and lose track of things that are truly important. What once felt like the greatest high was simply temporary and the consequences and obstacles that surrounded it were beyond my control; but it was attainable for everyone else it seems.

It's 9:14 AM and in about an hour I will witness what weakness and momentary foolishness has created. Dwelling is for the sentimental and the stubborn and those who care a little too much... that sounds just like me.

In the end what was lost is just a reflection of what has been gained... there are new things to pursuit now; I shouldn't be so down on myself. Yet, there are so many things and people to blame and pinpoint and feel animosity towards... are they all just disposable? Yes. At least they should be.

I am going to fail.

At least for today.