"I was born but..."

When I was younger I was filled with silly thoughts and understanding of true romance. My head was wrapped around in dreams, grandeur, and varied versions of the moment when I would finally meet my equal. At this moment I can say either that I have been delusional or that all along I have held a perfect understanding of realism. There is a great amount of truth that resides in the observation that people seek to fall in love with someone who embodies either what/who they are or something they are missing/want to be; their equal. I believe it. Then again, if you're as lucky as me... there is absolutely no truth to this. Your interest is merely sparked by the quick first impression of what your potential soul mate dawns on you... and then the world unleashes its best kept secret upon you; you are indeed with someone who has surpassed all expectations. You are with the most incredible human being. Surprise.
It doesn't make any sense. Really, is there a catch? Sure, there is the possibility of a shattered, beat-down, broken heart. But it's a rather small price... or actually it's just a rather insignificant matter. Just love and be loved.
The 8th day of another month is approaching yet again. It seems longer than just 8 months. Then again, what is the number 8 but an upside-down infinite symbol?
I'm lack any evidence of the human condition; I am neither expressive or emotional. But somehow, right now, I want to tear up and curl into a ball.
I'm in love...
with him
with the infinite spaces between all matter
with love.

A Bland Epiphany

I've come to the realization that what's been missing all these years is a hint of rebelious spontaniety. Ultimately, that's the missing ingredient that's hindered me from achieving feats from all aspects of my life. Yeah, really. An old friend has taught me this. Perhaps what's funny is that I haven't spoken to this person in years. You know when they say everything happens for a reason? I'm beyond glad that we became friends. We're neither friends or foes at this stage of our lives... but she'll always be there in some odd way, pushing me, motivating me, and always provoking me with the loud whispers of "Come on, Jen"... to finally experience the essence of life and living.

I am a pescatarian today, tomorrow I shall purely be a vegetarian.
I am a procrastinator today, tomorrow I shall be an all-nighter master.
I am jobless today, tomorrow I shall be successful.
I am hesitant today, tomorrow I shall be unstoppable.

Life as a Neglegent Blogger

So it's been a while since I've updated this blog with any serious intent. Yes, I start off entries with "so" too often.

It's 12:55 AM. I am on a quest to stay till 7AM this morning. I plan to battle the inevitable curse of slumber by watching old Sailor Moon episodes.

Nostalgia. More specifically, childhood nostalgia. I sometimes wish that there was a store that simply caters to all of my childhood nostalgia needs. It would be great to be able to buy old Daria episodes, Sailor Moon pens and bubble necklaces, and Barney blankets. Anyway, that's just what midnight boredom and lack of routine productivity does to anyone with a sane mind.

Also, what I've noticed about blogs is that readers only read matters that are generalized. Of course everyone floods in when you bitch about a recent break up and pour your heart out with the use of pseudo-insightful anecdotes. Also, the seemingly endless longing for a Romeo to sweep you off your feet is never out of style either. Yeah, that kind of stuff is a great seller. Who doesn't like hearing about angst?

Well, what I'm getting at is that I'm tired of angst. Let's talk about real stuff. For once. Happiness, what's wrong with it? Bliss? Isn't one allowed to be selfish for once and brag about how great their life is without sounding fake and making things up? Yes, things are great on my side of the fence right now; I have the white picket fence and everything. At least in my mind. Yes, that's a metaphor.

Anyway, summer's been fantastic thus far. Aside from me gaining weight; I can feel my face turning into a donut as I ponder this thought. And oh god, I hate donuts. My fat face could at least turn into cheese. I love cheese. Cheese melts, which gives me the false hope that the fat on my face will as well.

Also, here are a few things that I've decided to add to my summer list:
-Have as much boba as possible.
-Be a movie-rat... watch all the great movies coming out this summer.
-SHOP, I know redundant, but I LOVE SHOPPING 0_0 omg it's 1AM why are the stores closed???
-Sculpt cheese
-Successfully complete the Special K diet